mental Devil & Angel When I was young, I had two imaginary friends... sort of. I didn't believe they were real, of course. I had become fixated with the idea of the devil and angel on your
mental 111 Things About My Transition On twitter, I posted that for every like a post received, I'd mention some trivia related to my transition. I got far more likes than I was able to easily come with trivia,
mental Fear The other day a friend sent me a casual message, inviting me to go with them to an event. I read the message, saw what the event was and my heart began to
mental What Now? For two years (and change) there has always been Something Else To Do. At the beginning, it was utterly terrifying things, such as talking to doctors, coming out publicly, taking meds to completely
social Two Years of HRT If you ask a medical professional about feminising hormone therapy, the most helpful response you get seems to be a furrowed brow followed by, "Look, we generally consider it to be a
social "Was it everything you hoped?" One of the most common questions I get asked by people I come out to is some variation on "what's it like being trans?". Of course, that's a really tough question
physical Body Awareness and Transitioning There's a joke going around at the moment on twitter, similar to other observational jokes I've seen for a while, but done particularly well: Male Writers Writing Female Characters: “Cassandra woke up to
social Compliments, Consent & Relationships I've been thinking about the complicated nature of relationships. And for a moment forget the "relationship = partner / girlfriend / boyfriend" thing. I mean relationships as in the way to define how we
social Gender-Coded Behaviour Every trans person had their own ways of coping before they transition. Some have "always" shown behaviour somewhat reflective of their true gender identity. I, on the other hand, got so
social Social Anxiety My own social anxiety never made much sense to me. It was so specific and so seemingly-random (pro-tip: it wasn't random; it was when I was treated in a gendered way or segregated
mental Acceptance Day A year ago, I wrote this facebook post (slightly modified for re-posting here)... 16 September, 2016 A year ago today, I broke down crying. It was in the morning. I had gotten up
mental Shoulda Known One of the interesting discussions I've had over drinks with lots of other trans people is the one that begins this way: "I have no idea how I didn't figure it out
social Hey, Baby CW: Public attention from creepy dudes. Most of my transition blog posts have been either general observations about an aspect of transitioning, or specific discussions of experiences I've had. This is... half way
mental "So maybe I wasn't that ugly..." I used to passionately detest the way I looked. I grew a beard and kept it from about age 21 until right before I began transitioning, and GOD I hated it. On myself,
mental Identity and Dreaming Pre-transition, gender only factored into my dreams and internal monologue when I had no choice. I was so deeply uncomfortable being gendered male that in most of my dreams I had no noticeable
mental The Sound of My Voice Voices are really interesting things. For me, my voice was actually the one part of myself related to my body that I wasn't ashamed of. I liked the range of my voice. That
mental Emotional Dissonance Emotions are a major part of our lives. They inform how we react to situations from big (grief, loss or joy) to small (stubbing our toes or finding a buck on the sidewalk)
social High School I was recently thinking back to my high school days. I went to an all-male high school, which is a pretty shite idea at the best of times, but for a clueless trans
mental Please Just See Me I can't open up my news feed right now without seeing article after article about trans rights in the united states. I can't escape it. At precisely the same moment it feels like
mental The Dysphoria I Don't Feel Before I began hormone therapy, my dysphoria could get very bad, and it was incredibly frequent (I've written about it several times in detail, but a good summary of my dysphoria experiences is
social Reactions Regenerating your whole goddamn body with hormones and lasers (fuck it sounds cool when I put it that way) is a strange experience. But I'd imagine for others, especially those who aren't used
social Being Trans Is Rad It's easy sometimes to focus on the stress and problems of being trans. There are bad days or bad moments that stick in your memory. Moments of loneliness or feelings of isolation. But
mental Your Past Self It's not uncommon that trans people find it a little uncomfortable to see images of their pre-transition self. This is definitely true for me. For the longest time it was uncomfortable as hell
social Lost In The Middle (This is effectively a continuation of my recent blog post on "always knowing you were a woman".) I've had a growing sense of loneliness and isolation that's been hard to shake.
physical Welcome To Your New Body Note: this is based on my experiences with feminising (oestrogen-based) hormone therapy. It's also intended to be fairly light in tone. As always, remember these are my experiences, even if they're written in