For the last little while I've been meaning to write more transition-related stuff here on my blog. The problem is, like most transition blogs, they tend to taper off after a while. At a certain point there isn't much to talk about.
My life is, in a lot of ways, what I genuinely didn't imagine it could be. I'm comfortable (enough) with my body. I am gendered correctly, and much of the time don't think too hard about it. It's a huge privilege to be where I am, and so often when I think, "I should write something", now, I draw a blank.
On the one hand, that's a nice place to be in.
On the other, I worry that's making me complacent, with little to be introspective about now.
I was all but sure that'd basically be it, then. That my transition blog would remain more or less as it was, with perhaps the odd update if I ever decided to deep-dive into other subjects I never really covered in much detail (like sex).
But when I began to clean up and update this site to prepare for more serious blogging, something happened: I began to skim my old posts.
I was blogging from right after beginning HRT. My first words were written before I had come out publicly. Even sooner, actually, if you could some private diary writing I did before I even knew I was going to write a transition blog.
So I've decided I'm going to do something to force a bit more introspection: I'm going to go back over my old articles, and dissect them.
What did I think? How many somewhat foolish or naive ideas did I have about transitioning? About what this would be like? About what being seen as a woman would be like?
I know I tried to be cautious with my statements, and tried not to make assumptions. But I still want to try and carefully go over what I've written - and even just use that as a gateway to think back to that precise point in my transition, to think more carefully about what was going on in my head then.
So, in the coming months that's what I'll be doing - alternating between new posts, and ones where I analyse what I was thinking and where I was at at the point of a much earlier blog post.